Unexpected Experiment

Whenever I've got writers block, or I'm itching to write but can't conjure a creative thought, I think about my childhood. I was a freak, so there's ample material nestled back there. 

This piece is the result of such a time. It was written about a year ago, and went through its first edit today. While editing, I was reminded of how surprisingly experimental the work was for me. 

For the sake of context I'll post the entirety of the writing,

Hope this doesn't skew the experiment.

although I'm sharing for the purpose of feedback on the portion that surprised me - a description of a game of dodgeball. The piece isn't particularly long, but if you're not overwhelmed with free time and want to get to the point, I'll highlight the dodgeball scene so you can skip to it. 

I didn't change much in my first round of edits. Perhaps because the memory is mine, so it's easy for me to picture. Childhood memories are so abstract in such vividly clear ways, though. I'm unconvinced I've given the reader anything like the film playing in my head.